The best thing you canĀ  give to your spouse is always with you and is free of cost.

Do you want to make your spouse happy?

Do you want to give your spouse the best thing you have and live together happily till the end of life?

If you are beautiful, your  husband will be happy

If you are handsome, your wife will be happy

But beauty and handsomeness are not in your hand. Beauty is the creation of God.

If you are learned, your spouse will be happy

But knowledge is a gift of God

To be learned, you need education, you need to read lot of books. It consumes a lot of time in reading books. You can not get education without any cost.  your parent pay the cost of your education.

If you are rich, your spouse will be happy

To be rich, you need a good luck, you need an opportunity, you need a good environment and you need to work hard. Wealth does not come freely but it comes with sweat. You can not be rich in a day.

Then what are the things that are free?

You have two eyes. You can look after your spouse. You can see whether he/she is well or ill. You have two ears. You can listen to what your spouse says. You have one mouth. You can say “thank Q” when he/she gives you a cup of water, you can appreciate when he/she does well, you can say something when he/she is wrong, you can encourage him/her when he/she is going to start a work. You have two hands and two legs. You can go a few steps and do something for your spouse.

And the best thing you have is your face. You can smile at your spouse. Smile cost you nothing. Smile is a great medicine. It can cure  all pains and sorrows. But smile does not originate from the face itself. It originates from the heart

So the best thing you can give to your spouse is your heart. And the same is the most you want from him/her. It is always with you and is free of cost. All your love is in your heart. If you can not give your heart to your spouse, your beauty/handsomeness, your smartness, your learnedness, your wealth all are useless. If you give your heart, what else your spouse will ask from you? It is costlier than the costliest pearls. Heart is the perfect love.

Your heart makes your spouse happy

Your heart makes your children happy

Your heart makes your family grow up

Your heart makes life peaceful

Your heart makes life beautiful

And remember, life is so short.

Love one another with all your heart and make each other happy with your heart right today, tomorrow it will be too late.

GIVE YOUR  SWEET HEART TO YOUR SPOUSE. IT IS ALWAYS WITH YOU AND IT IS FREE OF COST

Look before you leap into marriage, you may face a midway crisis

Midway crisis is a situation where a wife or a husband can neither go ahead nor go back

If your spouse treats you as a slave, can you live together with him/her?

Can you call off the marriage?

In politics and in business, if your partner is not good to you, you can call off the alliance in the midway. You can cancel all the agreements, you can return any sum of money or property

But in marriage going back is not possible at all. Once the husband and the wife become one flesh, they should live together till the end of life. After marriage a man is no more a celebate and a woman is no more a virgin. Celebacy and virginity can not be returned. Though your spouse is not good at all to you, you can not sell him/her, you can not exchange or you can not discard.

Some people are not learned, not rich and not good at anything yet they are very proud. They do not show any respect to others. Sometimes husbands treat their wives like animals. Sometimes wives treat their husbands like animals. So many instances have happened. And many will happen. Such people do nothing good for their families, they are irresponsible persons. They only create problems in the families. They torture their spouses mentally or physically intentionally. They are ungrateful people.

Yes we know that no one is perfect. Everybody has a defect and a weakness. We all commit mistakes. But there are limits. We keep in mind that it is good to forgive one another. We can forgive thousand time. But if he/she treats you unwell intentionally you can not forgive him/her. If the ill-treatment is unlimited, your patience may be exhausted. We are humans, we are not stones. You may no longer love him/her.  So in such situation where the husband and the wife can not live together, separation is the only option. Separation is better than fight.

When husband and wife are separated, it is equally unfortunate for both. The husband as well as the wife will suffer. And the greater misfortune is for the children. How much pain it will be for the children. You may not love your spouse but you love your children. Your children do nothing wrong to you. Your children are born of your own blood. How can you abandon your children?

On the other hand divorce is illegal. If a man takes another woman, it is an adultery. In the same way if a woman go to another man, it is an adultery. Adultery is a great sin. We can not do it at all.

You can not continue to live together with your spouse . On the other hand you can not divorce.  This is midway crisis. You have no solution for this problem .And you will have this crisis till the end of your life. What a headache is this?

So look before you leap into marriage or you may face a midway crisis. It is better to choose a good man/woman at the beginning than to cry in the midway.

Choosing a suitable companion. Whom should you choose as your life partner?

You should choose your companion wisely

In general more than 60 percent of our lifetime is married life. After marriage you will be no more under the lap of your mom and dad. If your wife/husband is good, you will be happy for greater part of your life time. If she/he is not good, you will be sad till the end of your life. Good or bad, well or ill,you will live together with your wife/husband till the end of your life. So choosing a good companion for life is very important.

Firstly choose the person with sweet heart

Sweet heart is the most important quality of a life companion. Good heart is better than the costliest pearls and golds. If your wife/husband is a good hearted person, you are already in heaven. If the heart of your wife/husband is good everything will be ok. You will live in peace and happiness. You will never shed a drop of tear, you will never get a heartache. Your children will become good persons. If the heart of your wife/husband is not good,you will face a  midway crisis. Sometimes the husband dominates Sometimes the wife dominates. All evils and sorrows come from bad heart.

Girls! Your husband may be handsome, smart and rich but if his heart is not good all the other things are useless.  If he does not love you, there is no happiness for you at all. So before you marry, read the heart and choose the man who has the best heart. He will love you the most. He will treat you as a wife. A man who has a good heart will not give you gold but he will give you what you need.

Boys! Your wife may be beautiful, smart and rich but if  her heart is not good all her beauty, smartness and richness are useless. If she does not respect you, there is no happiness at all for you. Remember ” A good wife makes her husband smile but a bad wife makes her husband a philosopher”. So choose a woman who has the best heart. She will respect you the most. She will treat you as a husband.

Secondly, choose a wise person

  Wisdom is the second most important quality of a life companion. Remember ” The wise build up the  house but the fool pull down the house”. A wise wife/ husband will not create a problem in the family. A wise man/woman will make things right. He/she will do the right thing at the right time, he/she will take the right decision, he/she will do his/her responsibilities and he/she will love peace and unity in the family. If you and your wife/husband are wise, your family will grow up and life will be easy and wonderful. But know that some people are good at speech but not wise, some are not good at speech but wise. Some have high degree in education but not wise, some have no degree in education but wise. So choose a wise man/woman as your spouse.

Good heart and wisdom go together mostly.

No one is perfect

There  are some other qualities a wife/a husband requires for better life. They are beauty, handsomeness, smartness, cleanliness, education, sociability, richness, morality, good health etc. But a person who possesses all these qualities can not be found on the earth. No one is perfect. Everybody has a defect and a weakness

So before you come to marriage, choose your life companion wisely. Choose the right person. First look at the heart and the head. Choose the person who has sweet heart and wisdom. She/ he will treat you as a wife/ husband, she/ he will love you and respect you and you will live happily till the end of life.

Phanitphang Lungleng

18-07-2020.              

Romance

What is romance?

Everyone loves his mother but he does not like her. Everyone likes a beautiful flower but he does not love it. A boy falls in love with a girl. He loves her and he likes her. He does not go out to love but love comes to him like a seed. It grows and rooted deep in his heart. This is called romance. He loves the girl not because she is good. He likes her not because she is beautiful. But he loves her because he likes her. He likes her because he loves her

Only one lover

Everybody likes a beautiful girl. There are thousands of beautiful girls. He does not fall in love with them all. He does not love even a Miss World. There are thousands of smart girls, thousands of polite girls and thousands of rich girls. But a boy has only one lover

Love is unconditional

In general you may not like a girl with black complection but your lover may be black in complection. You may not like a Hindu girl but your lover may be a Hindu. Your community and your lover’s community may be enemies or your family and her family are in opposition. The girl may be ugly, she may be very weak, she may be very poor but you don’t care of it if you love her.

Not everyone is romantic

Some people may be romantic but some may not be romantic in nature. A boy may be very smart and handsome but he may not be romantic. Another boy may not be smart and handsome but he may be romantic. Most of the romances are not fulfilled. Romantic marriage is rare. There are lots of obstacles and disturbances for romantic marriage. And among the few romantic marriages, it is not easy to get married. The lovers face so many difficulties. They bear so much pain.

Romantic marriage is the happiest in life.

Marriage

I wish I am a bachelor

Youth life is full of happiness

A bachelor’s life is so interesting

There is no happiness after marriage

A married life is so bland

But the sun can not be overhead forever. It must go down the horizon. And all birds and animals will go to their respective nests. Flowers will not bloom forever, they will be faded and fall down.

In the same way you can not be a bachelor or a bachelorette forever. The time of marriage will come and you will become old.

what is marriage?

“It is not good for a man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him” Gen. 2:18

“So a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife and they become one” Gen. 2:24

Thus uniting of a man and a woman is called marriage. They love each other and serve each other. Good or bad, well or ill, happy or sad they will live together till the end of life.

“So they are no longer two, but one. Man must not separate, then, what God has joined together.” Mk 10:8-9

” A man who divorces his wife and married another woman commits adultery against his wife. In the same way, a woman who divorces her husband and marries another man, commits adultery.” Mk 10:11-12

Why you should marry

” A man does well not to marry. But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband. A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs. A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is, in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deny yourselves to each other unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving into Satan’s temptation because of your lack of self-control.” I Cor. 7:1-5

Concession

According to the teaching of Paul, actually it will be better to live alone as St. Paul and other apostles did, and priests and nuns are doing,but if you cannot restraint your desires go ahead and marry_ it is better to marry then to burn with passion.

Importance of marriage

You will feel the need of marriage when the time comes. If you do not marry, you lose some dignity in the society unless you sacrifice your life for God’s Kingdom as that of priest and nuns. People will show you less respect if you do not marry. And you will be bored. You will face difficulties when you grow old. Yes your brother and sister’s children can help you but your own children and others’ are different in serving you.

So choose a suitable person for your companionship and get married.